i was gonna say i don't think life has inherent meaning, but now i question the meaning of meaning, and it seems mostly meaningless. life has value, life has purpose, life has reason. i suppose i hadn't fully grasped what others meant when they spoke of the meaning of life. i suppose they spoke of this.
the world is like a large dresser. in america and the first world we live in one drawer, maybe two. but there are other drawers. i believe we have an obligation to live in the context of the entire dresser, and not solely the drawer - not just our society.
i've been speaking with my friend Hans who has just returned to the states from chad. he has shared stories about elephantiasis, witchcraft, poverty and the fight for survival, malaria, on and on...
our culture is in want. we lack perspective. i'm sick of our superficiality, our magnification of triviality and the belittlement of love.
our culture is in want. all we do is want. all we want is more. we waste waste waste waste waste. we spend ourselves on foolery, on vapor, on the now. we defy wisdom for independence. we abandon social accountability for more clothing, for more music, for technology. we take the technology and in the name of social activity we isolate and estrange ourselves from each other.
we spend our time campaigning to save the earth, while the inhabitants of the earth are dying. thousands upon thousands every day. and why do we do this? because politicians exploit our sense of justice for their want.
i refuse to want. i shall not want. i will refuse to covet. for what? for WHAT? what do you not already have?
what you don't have is consideration for those who live on less than a dollar a day. what you don't have is a heart.
what you have is selfishness. what you have is vanity. choke on it.
you want blood? you want to embrace anger? you want to make someone of yourself? sculpt yourself into the image you choose? who are you to know whom you should be? by your own hands you only become whom you could be, and who you could be is flawed because you need to be who you can't be on your own.
all you are is want. leave it behind. leave want behind. stop it. throw it away. cast it aside. grow. stop it. stop being selfish.
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amen.
it's not exactly the word i would like to use, but it seems to just feel like the right thing to say.
anyways... bruce... we need to talk. i miss you a LOT and i feel like we both have enough to talk about to last several days of straight conversation hahaha
well maybe not several days, but at least a nice long sit down at the local park or something.
i was about to say "do you remember when" and then it hit me that i was about to do what i really don't agree with - fantasize about reliving the past. i think there is value in knowing your past and learning from it, but i also believe that it really is in the past - so what's the point? we can never fully live in the past, and any sort of attempt to do so can only result in a further distortion of one's point of view. in your analogy of the dresser, living in the past is like forcing yourself not to look outside of only your drawer but the very back corner of it and never even looking around.
we are so much more. we have so much potential. and what do we do? waste it on video games and dare i say it: long conversations about the way we wished things were?
... to sum up: bruce, when am i going to speak with you again?
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