On the New Year

"As we go forth into the coming year, let it not be in the haste of impetuous, unremembering delight, nor with the flight of impulsive thoughtlessness, but with the patient power of knowing that the God of Israel will go before us. Our yesterdays present irreparable things to us; it is true that we have lost opportunities which will never return, but God can transform this destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future. Let the past sleep, but let it sleep on the bosom of Christ.
"Leave the irreparable past in his hands, and step out into the irresistible future with him."

-Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, Dec. 31

15 Favorite Artists at the End of the Decade

These are artists that I love right now. To qualify, they have to have more than one album that I know well and love. Side projects count.

Top Ten, in no particular order:

1. Blood, Sweat & Tears:
My favorite band for the past decade. Musical tutors to me. Nine musicians, some jazz cats others rock and blues guys, all blending their organs, pianos, trombones, saxes, trumpets, guitars, drums, and bass. Some amazing arrangements and solos. Great versatility.

Albums: Everything 1968-1972: Child is Father to the Man, BST, BST3, BST4, New Blood, No Sweat.

(spin-offs, side-projects, and seeds: Lew Soloff, Al Kooper [solo and with Michael Bloomfield, and with Dylan], the Blues Project)

2. Chris Thile:
The Mozart of our era - though he actually writes good music. Once a child prodigy, this musical genius left Nickel Creek and started a slew of excellent recordings. Solo albums, duet albums with Mike Marshall, and a new band, the Punch Brothers.

Albums: Deceiver, Live Duets, Punch, How To Grow A Woman From The Ground

3. Dave Brubeck Quartet:
I'm especially loving their 1959-1965 era.

Albums: Time Out, Time In, Jazz Impressions of Japan, Anything Goes!

4. Jack White:
Solo, with The White Stripes, The Raconteurs, Dead Weather, Loretta Lynn, Alicia Keys. Versatile musician, delicious music.

Albums: Icky Thump, Horehound, Consolers of the Lonely

5. Decemberists:
"The Hazards of Love" is a masterpiece. Their keyboardist is remarkable: piano, electric piano, organ, harpsichord, accordion - all very different instruments she's mastered. Colin Meloy is an excellent lyricist and writes lovely melodies. Each member is crucial to the band. Literary references galore.

Albums: The Hazards of Love, The Crane Wife

6. Elbow:
If not for their dreariness, I'm sure they'd be even more popular. Five UK gents making lovely, melancholy music.

Albums: Cast of Thousands, mostly, but also Asleep in the Back. Eager to hear their latest.

7. The Kinks:
Loved them since I was 12, but was more familiar with their earliest work - their rock n roll. I've really taken to their classic era work, their social commentary and rich melodies.

Albums: Lola vs Powerman and the Money-go-round, Muswell Hillbillies, Something Else by The Kinks

8. Procol Harum:
Great lyrics, great music. Organ and piano. Classical and Blues mixed together.

Albums: Procol Harum, Shine On Brightly, Live with The Edmonton Symphony Orchestra

9. Radiohead:
Need I say anything?

Albums: The Bends, OK Computer, Kid A, Amnesiac, I Might Be Wrong, In Rainbows, and various EPs. (Also, covers by Brad Mehldau, Christopher O'Reilly, The Section Quartet, Jeff Tweedy, etc...)

10. Sondre Lerche (and the Faces Down [Quartet]):
Versatile, perfect-pitch, energetic, melancholic.

Albums: Faces Down, Two-Way Monologue, Phantom Punch, Dan in Real Life, Duper Sessions


5 Other Artists Up There:

11. Delta Spirit:
One of my favorite, but I've out-played their music. Time for a new album, boys.

Albums: I Think I've Found It! Ode to Sunshine (2007 version)

12. Elton John:
His classic era, not the 80s, or Lion King. His rootsy, Americana albums.

Albums: Tumbleweed Connection, Friends Soundtrack, and soon, Madman Across the Water

13. The Strokes:
Their debut helped get us out of the rap-rock drudge of the turn of the century. Raw. Simple. Just what we needed.

Albums: Is This It? First Impressions of Earth, Phrazes for the Young

(spin-offs, side-projects, and seeds: Julian Casablancas)

14. Thrice:
Versatile. If they didn't also play hardcore, I'd love them more.

Albums: Alchemy Index Vols 2, 3, 4, Vheissu (non-screaming songs)

15. Tchaikovsky:
The Russians wrote the best classical music, and he was the best.

Works: The Nutcracker, Swan Lake, Sleeping Beauty, Marche Slave, Piano Concerto #1, Fantasy Overture, 1812 Overture.

Honorable Mentions:
Lupe Fiasco. Nice new mixtape. But you gotta break the "1-and-2-and-3-4" rhythm. It's getting old.
The Black Keys.
The Zombies.

Christmas

I respect my parents for their graciousness.

This Christmas season we're sharing our home with a gentleman they knew in Africa. He used to live here with his wife and three daughters. After their divorce he moved to the other side of the country. He's staying with us for a week or two over the holidays so he can share it with his girls. For Christmas eve, his daughters came over, and my parents shared their food and holiday with them. They bought presents for them and hosted them on a day when people normally want to keep their socializing to their families. So, sharing it with near strangers, I'm impressed.

Song of the Week: "Waterloo Sunset"

Live TV performance. The Kinks in all the quaint, lyrical glory.

Oh, but there's a bonus song on this video. They also play "Village Green Preservation Society". The back-up brass band is quite excellent.

"Old men ought to be explorers" - Eliot

"Words strain
Crack and sometimes break, under the burden
Under the tension, slip, slide, perish,
Decay with imprecision, will not stay in place,
Will not stay still...

Words move, music moves
Only in time; but that which is only living
Can only die. Words, after speech, reach,
Into the silence."
- excerpt from The Four Quartets: East Coker by T S Eliot

Last night as I lay in bed for hours waiting for my mind to rest, it occurred to me that my grandfather would be dead before I awoke.

And I was correct.

After a good, short fight with Leukemia, it got him. 89 years. He was my age in the heat of WWII.

My granddad was a good man. Born in South Africa - i think - he became a missionary in Kenya, Tanzania, Mozambique and finally Rwanda. I remember him visiting us in South Africa as he left the continent and made the UK his home. The genocide had just started and he had lost over 200 personal friends to tribal prejudice.

Even after he retired, he never stopped serving his Creator and mankind. Till this morning, he was in charge of an orphanage in Romania. He knew people everywhere in the world. Anywhere he traveled, even on vacation, he would run into close friends who would have him preach at their church that very weekend. And he always had something worthwhile to share with them.

But I seldom saw him in this respect. He was always just my granddad, who loved me a lot. I was his youngest grandchild, named after his son who died at 19. I got to see him every three or four years. I remember visiting him in England when I was 9, a couple months before moving to America.

One day the only memory I'll recall is him chasing me around his house with shaving cream on his face, trying to kiss me.

And then one day we'll be reunited.

"For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words." - Paul to the Thessalonians

But for now he rests. "The living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing." - Ecclesiastes

The Illusion of the Mainstream

So here I am lying in bed, waiting to fall asleep while my mind drifts, and I have this thought:

I'm reflecting on the Second Great Awakening, when Christianity grew deep and wide in the States. Yet I recall recently reading that Christianity wasn't as commonplace in 19th century America as we presume. Believing this two notions aren't mutually exclusive, I started thinking about how it occurs, how something grows and is prevalent yet isn't mainstream. I compared it to the burst in indie music in the decade. Animal Collective, Bon Iver, Feist, Avett Brothers, Dr Dog, Cold War Kids, are far more successful than they ever could have been in the 90s. Musicians in this realm are developing large, devoted audiences. Yet it is still profoundly easy to meet people who've never heard of them. They aren't mainstream. But they have a large stream of their own.

Then I started wondering if there even is a mainstream at all; if there ever has been - aside from post-counter-culture 1970s when the status quo was reinstated and became desirable again. The ubiquity of conformity, you could say.

Is there a mainstream? Everyone who listens to the aforementioned artists and the like don't really listen to all the artists nominated for Grammy's. At least I presume they don't. The mainstream isn't the main one. It's just another one.

When your iTunes automatically labels "Alternative" to artists as varied as the Sex Pistols, Radiohead, Gemma Hayes, Genesis and Relient K, you start to wonder if there really is any alternative to one thing at all. There can't be if there is no singular, predominant element. There is no mainstream.

This is applicable to much more than music.

Cramming it all in

I need to slow down my thoughts. Reading a study on Ecclesiastes, watching interviews with atheists, reading blogs about the music business, analyzing my life, booking a tour, writing string arrangements, all feels like far too much for one evening.

I need a retreat. I'm going to try to make this vacation as much of one as possible.

Song of the Week: "How To Disappear Completely"

This song is beautiful. If you don't know the album version, go buy Kid A now and listen to it. The strings are remarkable. Inspired by "Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima", the arrangement was the first non-traditional string arrangement in popular music. It's hard to explain. Just listen!

The polyrhythms in this song are remarkable. The whole band is playing in 6/8 while Colin plays duplets over it - so, 4/4. It's a basic polyrhythm, but very effective. It's what makes the song feel like its moving forward and staying in the same place simultaneously.

Jonny is playing an Ondes Martonet.

This is Scary...in an Orwellian Way

I'll quote this from Boing Boing before the time comes when I risk being arrested for doing so:

Secret copyright treaty leaks. It's bad. Very bad.

The internet chapter of the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement, a secret copyright treaty whose text Obama's administration refused to disclose due to "national security" concerns, has leaked. It's bad. It says:

• * That ISPs have to proactively police copyright on user-contributed material. This means that it will be impossible to run a service like Flickr or YouTube or Blogger, since hiring enough lawyers to ensure that the mountain of material uploaded every second isn't infringing will exceed any hope of profitability.

• * That ISPs have to cut off the Internet access of accused copyright infringers or face liability. This means that your entire family could be denied to the internet -- and hence to civic participation, health information, education, communications, and their means of earning a living -- if one member is accused of copyright infringement, without access to a trial or counsel.

• * That the whole world must adopt US-style "notice-and-takedown" rules that require ISPs to remove any material that is accused -- again, without evidence or trial -- of infringing copyright. This has proved a disaster in the US and other countries, where it provides an easy means of censoring material, just by accusing it of infringing copyright.

• * Mandatory prohibitions on breaking DRM, even if doing so for a lawful purpose (e.g., to make a work available to disabled people; for archival preservation; because you own the copyrighted work that is locked up with DRM)

http://www.boingboing.net/2009/11/03/secret-copyright-tre.html

This is truly scary.

The Written Word

I spent this evening ghostwriting a biography for some friends. Had I written this blog an hour ago it would be significantly better composed. After thinking about every single word in a sentence for a couple hours, one realizes the weight of each word, its history, and its subtle implications that it has cultured. After an hour of relaxing, reading and reflecting, my tongue isn't as sharp - but it still feels great to write. I see that setting aside time to write is vital.

A W Tozer said "There are no synonyms". I'm fond of the argument. No two words mean precisely the same thing, even if they are defined so in a dictionary. Each word expresses something of its own. It colors a sentence with its own hue.

Here's a list of the books off the shelf, in stacks by my bed:

James White: Innovator and Overcomer by Gerald Wheeler. A truly inspiring biography of a teacher turned Christian Connexion preacher turned Millerite who became the founder of a denomination, two publishing houses, four journals, one college and still had time to run a nursery, buy and sell real estate and do some mule-driving. Oh, and have a family. Did I say this was inspiring? Makes me glad to be a workaholic. Think of the things that can be done!

Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing by Ellen White. A favorite of mine from the wife of the gentleman above. A book with little notes on the main points of the Sermon on the Mount. Challenging.

My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers. Always a good read. A classic.

The Confidence-Man: His Masquerade by Herman Melville (author of Moby Dick). A tedious but rewarding read. There's a boat on the Mississippi and people are really symbols and symbols are really people and characters morph and merge. This book has taught me that puns needn't be humorous. They can be profound.

The Pursuit of God by A W Tozer. Picked this one up again last night. I'm enjoying the revisit.

Why We're Not Emergent (by two guys who should be) by Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck. This is a book written with grave concern over the Emergent Church. Interesting thoughts so far.

That's it, aside from some journals.

Ha. Three of these books were written over 100 years ago. Another two over 50 years ago. wow.

On Prayer

"Prayer is not an expiation of sin; it has no virtue or merit of itself. All the flowery words at our command are not equivalent to one holy desire. The most eloquent prayers are but idle words if they do not express the true sentiments of the heart. But the prayer that comes from an earnest heart, when the simple wants of the soul are expressed, as we would ask an earthly friend for a favor, expecting it to be granted - this is the prayer of faith. God does not desire our ceremonial compliments, but the unspoken cry of the heart broken and subdued with a sense of its sin and utter weakness finds its way to the Father of all mercy."

- Ellen White, Thoughts From The Mount of Blessing

Every Once In A While

...you hear an artist whose music connects with the depths of your heart. I've been listening to Adam Pasion's album almost every day for the past three weeks, in part or in whole.

My song of the week is definitely "Run By Faith", from his latest album O, Hear The Rattling. I can't find a video of it online, so here is a snippet of the lyrics:

"You be the river, I'll be the tree by your side
My leaves will not whither, my branches never die
Deeply rooted, I shall not be moved
And in my season I will bear great fruit"

I've been at least a little bit sick four of the six days this week. Today wasn't so grand. I've listened to many songs to keep my attention away from my nausea and headache as it waxed and waned repeatedly through the day. I keep coming back to Adam's album.

I also listened to an EP that Tommy, Patrick, Tony Kevin and I recorded the evening before our tour. It was an impromptu session of singing hymns. Tony wants to release it, so maybe we'll share it sometime. It's raw, but it's honest. We weren't even paying attention to the fact that we were recording ourselves. Because of the nature of the music, it's rather intimate. I'd enjoy sharing it, but I'd also like to keep it private. We'll see.

Songs: "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing", "How Deep The Father's Love For Us", "Nearer, Still, Nearer", "Thy Mercy", "'Tis So Sweet To Trust In Jesus".

Anyhow... I keep thinking I'm about to fall asleep, but it has yet to happen.

Goodnight.

Bedtime Treat

A little snack before bed: Rooibos tea from the lovely Anna Hurley, and Cadbury's Chocolate with Crunchie Bits from my dad that he picked up during his recent trip to England.

And, listen. Can you hear it? The Moody Blues' Days of Future Passed, fifth movement: "The Afternoon: a) Forever Afternoon (Tuesday?) b) (Evening) Time To Get Away". A title a little contrived, I know, but still enjoyable.

Tim Tam SLAM

In Australia, where I am not from, there is a chocolate biscuit called a Tim Tam. There's a routine to eating a Tim Tam called a Tim Tam Slam. It goes like this:


Step 1: Heat up a mug of milk. Put it on a saucer with two tim tams.


Step 2: Bite off the ends of the tim tam.


Step 3: Use it as a straw for the milk.


Step 4: When you feel the milk reach your tongue, suck the whole Tim Tam into your mouth and feel the chocolately goodness melt in your mouth.


(My well-traveled, novel-writing friend Stephanie introduced me to this treat.)

Song of the Week: "Life In A Glasshouse"

What do you get when you mix paranoia, dixieland jazz and Radiohead? An excellent song.

home

I can pack a bag for a month in five minutes, but when I return home unpacking is slow. I'm more accustomed to living outside of a suitcase.

I'm home, and tomorrow I work at 9am. I'm babysitting Jonah, age 5, and homeschooling him. I'm so excited to see him again. I've been with him for over three years. It's been remarkable watching him grow. He has a precious heart.

I suppose I'm short on words. Thought I had more to say.

I have to readjust to being at home again. This is our first tour ever from which we've returned to a home. All our other tours we had nowhere to come home to. Now we do. And it's quite nice. Still, it's hard finding your groove again - maintaining a responsible self-employed work pace.

You also get the post-tour blues. For the past 3+ weeks I've had at least four other people around me constantly - really, ALL the time. It's great. But it's difficult to come out of.

C'est la vie. And a good one at that.

I'm home. Hope to see familiar faces over this next week!

Song of the Week: "Whole Lotta Shakin Goin On"

Before Outkast, Jerry Lee Lewis.

Song of the Week: "Silver Wings"

This song is SO short. Take the time right now to play the 2 min video and read the lyrics. It's written from the perspective of air/wind, but also of our Creator. It's soul-stirring.



From tender years you took me for granted,
But still I deigned to wander through your lungs.
While you were sleeping soundly in your bed,
(Your drapes were silver wings, your shutters flung)

I drew the poison from the summer's sting,
And eased the fire out of your fevered skin.
I moved in you and stirred your soul to sing;
And if you'd let me I would more again.

I've danced 'tween sunlit strands of lover's hair;
Helped form the final words before your death.
I've pitied you and plied your sails with air;
Gave blessing when you rose upon my breath.

And after all off this I am amazed
That I am cursed far more than I am praised.

Song of the Week: "Whiskey Flowers"

I have been on a Karli kick lately. Listening to her a ton. First off, I hear her new album almost every time I ride anywhere with Nate. But on the side I've been listening to Bitter Blue, her EPs, her Christmas albums, and her 4-piece all-girl accordion side project. It never occurred to me before, but she's done a remarkable job of giving enough music to her fans. Other artists deprive you. She always has something new to listen to, and I'm thankful.

Though "Tired Tune" is my favorite song of hers, "Whiskey Flowers" has been in my head over the previous weeks. It is an excellent piece of music. The way the chords move are captivating enough to stand alone. But her melody and lyrics and instrumentation and arrangement all create a marvelous song (Tommy actually quoted part of the song at one of our shows). I've also been listening to "Away in a Manger", "Silent Night" and "Come Thou Long Expected Jesus" frequently.

I'm fortunate enough to not just be a fan of Karli's music, but to be her friend, too. She's been a part of my inner circle of musician friends since my band starting taking things seriously. We met her at our first show in Spokane. She designed the cover of "Let Those Who Have Ears Hear", did something similar to touring with us in 2007, helped us build an audience in Spokane, encouraged us last year when we were trying to figure out what kind of music we play ("you're in a genre crisis. but if anyone can make it work, you guys can."), and most recently, recorded our latest EP, Freeze & Thaw.

Karli is a true friend with a good heart, an excellent musician with a bright future. I'm flippin proud of what she's accomplished in the past two years.

Jeopardy Fail

Category: Biblical Botany

Answer: "Socrates said that..."

haha. Socrates isn't in the Bible.

On and On and On

Prone to speaking long sentences? Melville takes the cake in "The Confidence Man":

"As, in gaining his place, some little perseverance, not to say persistence, of a mildly inoffensive sort, had been unavoidable, it was not with the best relish that the crowd regarded his apparent intrusion; and upon a more attentive survey, perceiving no badge of authority about him, but rather something quite the contrary - he being of an aspect so singularly innocent; an aspect, too, which they took to be somehow inappropriate to the time and place, and inclining to the notion that his writing was of much the same sort: in short, taking him for some strange kind of simpleton, harmless enough, would he keep to himself, but not wholly unobnoxious as an intruder - they made no scruple to jostle him aside; while one, less kind than the rest, or more of a wag, by an unobserved stroke, dexterously flattened down his fleecy hat upon his head."

WOWZA!! This makes Dickens child's play.

Weak Sauce

"Scientists excavating in the dusty Middle Awash region of Ethiopia have unearthed an amazingly complete skeleton of a new species of hominid -- an ancestor to modern man -- which they have named Ardipithecus ramidus, nicknamed "Ardi"." -DailyTech

Excuse me? "Amazingly complete skeleton"?

"Scientists have theorized that Ardi may have formed human-like relationships with pairing between single males and females. Evidence of this is found in the male's teeth, which lack the long canines that gorillas and other non-monogamous apes use to battle for females."

This can't be considered logical. This species becomes monogamous, and incidentally, their teeth now lacked long canines? Is that what they are saying? I'm trying to grasp effect and cause here. Help me out.

I appreciated this comment:
"... it would be great if they could find a group of bodies... not just one. With just one you have a very poor sample... you may have a freaky size creature from that time period. It would be like 1 million years from now they dig up Andre the Giant or maybe Mini Me but could not find the remains of anyone else. Their conclusions would be wrong or very off at best."

Thoughts?

Top iTunes Songs

Not by count, but by artist -

Aretha Franklin: Bridge Over Troubled Water

The Beach Boys: God Only Knows

Dave Brubeck Quartet: Blue Rondo a la Turk, Take Five

The Decemberists: Crane Wife, pt 3

Delta Spirit: Trashcan, People C'mon, Strange Vine, People Turn Around

The Denouement: Clotted Together

Eva Cassidy: Bridge Over Troubled Water, Kathy's Song

Gemma Hayes: Ran for Miles, 4:35 am, I Wanna Stay

The Hollies: We're Through, Jesus Was A Crossmaker

The Isley Brothers: Summer Breeze (don't give me none of that Seals & Croft business)

The Killers: Read My Mind

Lauryn Hill: Lost Ones

The Rascals: People Got to be Free

Smith: Baby, It's You

Sondre Lerche: Stupid Memory

Thrice: Come All You Weary

Wilco: On and On and On


Notice, "Bridge Over Troubled Water" is on there twice.

Three Paul Simon songs.

Delta Spirit has the most songs, followed by Gemma Hayes.

I don't feel like this is a good rep of what I listen to. It excludes Tchaikovsky, Elbow, Procol Harum, Blood Sweat and Tears, Chris Thile, and so much more that I love.

Anyhow, it reps something! I do love these songs.

heritage

a couple nights ago my grandfather, over in europe, stopped breathing. he's now in the hospital. he was out for a while, but today he walked around a bit. hopefully it's just the beginning of him being revived.

someone bought a ticket for my dad to fly to europe this weekend. he'll be there for two weeks. i wish i could go too, but, 1) no money, 2) no passport. two sturdy reasons.

anyhow, that's that. nothing else to say.

Peter, Paul and...

Mary just died.

Here's a lovely snippet Susan Wise Bauer wrote:

"Two years ago, Peter, Paul and Mary came through southeastern Virginia on their final tour, and we bought tickets and took the whole family to see them. I figured then that this would be our last chance. My youngest child was six; she sat up on the back of her seat and yelled, “Puff, the Magic Dragon!” when they started singing. Mary was still recovering from her latest round of chemotherapy. She told us that she had just gone through a bone marrow transplant from a donor who had elected to remain anonymous until the treatment was finished. “Suddenly I thought to myself,” she said, “what if my donor is…a Republican??” (Huge shout of amusement from all the once-upon-a-time hippies in the audience.) “And then I met her. And she was! And she was lovely! And we got to be good friends!” And then she leaned forward and laughed at herself. And then they sang Where Have All the Flowers Gone, and we all sang along."

Fail Blog Submission

I submitted something to failblog. Vote on it here.

I thought it was funny.

Song of the Week: "Motion Picture Soundtrack"

Christopher O'Riley's cover of Radiohead's album closer on Kid A.



Listen. I know there's nothing to watch. But press play. It's so touching.

"True Love Waits: Christopher O'Riley Plays Radiohead". Probably the next album I buy - when I FINALLY have disposable income.

one day.

More Blood, More Sweat, More Tears

So, you may very well know that Blood, Sweat and Tears is my favorite band. I have about 20 hours of music in my BST collection. (DANG!!) And, it's about to increase. I joined a BST email group that I used to be in back in the day (2000) through which I've found two SUPER rare albums I'll be getting in the next week or two.

First is "The Owl and the Pussycat Soundtrack". Never heard anything from this record. It's a soundtrack of original unique material. It came out during the classic lineup. And I'm guessing it's instrumental - this is good, because I've grown weary of the lead singer during this era.

Second is a live concert of the first lineup, back when Al Kooper was lead singer. This is REALLY exciting, because I had heard there were no live recordings of this lineup. This includes three songs from the second album!

I realize this is a technical, and probably uninteresting, post.

But, hey. Enjoy the video! It's snazzy.

The Apical Aesthetic

Tonight I reached the pinnacle of artistic intake. It hit while I was reading an analysis of The Wasteland by Eliot, and I could hear Patrick listening to Sondre Lerche. I couldn't finish reading. My mind is blown. I need to step back... maybe just for the night, while I sleep.

I'll share some of the things I've been taking in.

This morning, on a Procol Harum high, I listened to their first two albums again, and a bit from their live w/ orchestra album (namely, their 18 minute "In Held Twas In I" suite). Then I had to stop. Too much melancholy.

Tonight I went to the Seattle Art Museum, which is open for free every first Thursday of the month. There were many pieces of art that weren't too impressive, until I got to the Titus Kaphar exhibit.

I was in excited awe to see someone so groundbreaking in their visual art. The balance of new and old, quoting older pieces, the ironic mashup of creation and destruction, the depth of meaning and reason behind the art, and the thoughts you're left with. ah.



This piece is packed with history and concern for the days of future passed, but for brevity's sake, I won't get into it.

Reading about all the allusions Eliot makes in The Wasteland is inspiring.

I've returned to the book of Daniel for another in-depth study. The greatest book ever written. When you get into the subtleties in structure, all that it infers between the lines, you can't believe someone said so much so strongly in so few pages. I could now talk about the first page of Daniel for an hour, just unpacking the subtleties. Good grief!

That being said, I have all these thoughts I'm processing on ancient Mesopotamian etymology, the neo-Babylonian dynasty, and the almost unnoticeable resistance that four teenage Jews had against a pagan priestly-king. It all makes me want to dive back into The Golden Bough, The History of the Ancient World and The Power of Myth simultaneously. This has also been urged by the realization that John Eldredge's book Wild at Heart is just the now defunct Mythopoetic Man's Movement of the early 90s baptized into Christianity like a St Peter statue of Pluto. It's valuable to understand an idea's heritage.

SO, reading about Eliot alluding to the Aenied, Dante's Inferno, The Tempest, The Upanishads, Greek myth and paintings and tarot cards and sex and death and chess.

blaaaaaaaaaaaaah. too much. Especially with "Phantom Punch" playing.

okay. I'm done processing. Time to listen to "The Crane Wife 1, 2 and 3" and MAYBE read a little bit more from Patriarchs and Prophets. But probably not. A psalm or two for me.

[update: also blown away by my many artistic friends, including ben, hollin and eric, ana, paul, malachi and keiko, etc. also, having heard tony kevin's new EP yesterday... good grief. who knew it would be THAT good?)

Still There'll Be More

One more. This one shows how flippin good BJ Wilson was on the drums. Jimmy Page asked him to play drums for Zeppelin, but he turned him down because he was already in Procol Harum. He was Page's first choice for the band. And you can see why in this video. Definitely better than John Bonham.

Repent Walpurgis

Procol Harum still blows me away. Not enough people combine blues and classical.

Enjoy the lengthened Bach quote in the middle.

trust

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty God
I will say of the Lord
He is my refuge
My fortress
My God
In him I will
In him I will trust


He shall cover you with his feathers
Under his wings you shall take your refuge
His truth shall be your shield and your buckler
You shan't be afraid of the terror by night
Nor the arrow that flies by day
Nor the pestilence that walks in darkness
Nor the destruction that lays waste at noonday
In him I will trust

trust
trust
trust
trust

Tongue in Cheek

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people you like and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Re-post as "my life according to (band name)"

Pick your Artist:
Radiohead

Are you a male or female:
I Might Be Wrong

Describe yourself:
Everything In It's Right Place

How do you feel:
Like Spinning Plates

Describe where you currently live:
Nice Dream

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Palo Alto

Your favorite form of transportation:
Stupid Car

Your best friend is:
You

You and your best friends are:
Packt Like Sardines in a Crushed Tin Box

Your favorite color is:
All I Need

What's the weather like:
No Surprises

Favorite time of day:
The Gloaming

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
Talk Show Host

What is life to you:
Life In A Glass House

Your relationships:
You Never Wash Up After Yourself

Your last relationship:
How To Disappear Completely

Your fear:
The Bends

What is the best advice you can give:
Fitter, Happier

If you could change your name, you would change it to:
Kid A

Thought for the Day:
These Are My Twisted Words

How I would like to die:
Go To Sleep

My soul's present condition:
Down Is The New Up

My motto:
Bullet Proof...I Wish I Was

Silence

"Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words, like silent raindrops, fell
And echoed in the wells of silence"

I have been praying for the last month to learn to be silent.

It's too easy to talk.

Play Straight

I've been realizing this week that sometimes when someone asks you a question, it's not so much that they want to know your answer; instead, they want you to ask them the same question. This makes for humorous memories. Oh, when he asked me this, I spent five minutes answering it and he didn't really want to know. He wanted to talk about that situation in his own life.

I think we should be more straight forward. Let me tell you about my day. Let us express what we want to talk about.

I normally take people at face value. When someone asks me how I am, I tend to think they want to know. And I expect people to take me at face value. Still, there are times when I don't know how to draw words from the well, and, despite my intentions, my expressions are not a clear look into my heart. With Tommy, Patrick and Ben, in the times that I don't know how to be direct, they seem to be able to look past whatever my face may say. It's good to have friends that help us be honest with ourselves.

We lack self-honesty. We are starved of it. This debility hinders our candor with our Father and with our friends. Often it's frustrating to realize that a friend is being dishonest with you. It's easier to be gracious when we recognize that, first, they are not being honest with themselves. That's the root of it. They may not intend to mislead us; they don't realize their own misconstruction.

I read in Proverbs this week that it is man's glory to overlook offenses. I don't think I share in this glory. It's difficult to look over hurts against us. When someone treats us foully we want them to know it, and we want revenge, or at best, recompense. We want justice. But righteous behavior is a forgiving spirit. Love covers a multitude of sins, and keeps no record of wrongs. Justice and Mercy must kiss. This is holiness.

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Song of the Week: "Tighter, Tighter"

Kinda funny, but this song by Alive n Kickin has been in my head all week.



Written by Tommy James (of "Mony Mony" and "Crimson and Clover" fame..."fame"?).

Song of the Week: "Blue Rondo A La Turk"

I feel like merely watching Dave Brubeck's solo on this live performance makes me a better musician.

Song of the Week: "Along Comes Mary"

By the Association. I love this band. Their harmonies are beautiful. I just unpacked my cd of them.



A little quirky introduction.

This song was eventually covered by the Bloodhound Gang (ugh). The meter of rhymes is quite good. It's like proto-rap.

Song of the Week: "My Days Are Numbered"

By Blood, Sweat and Tears... my favorite band... since I was twelve.



This is from their first album, "Child is Father to the Man". Lead singer/organist was Al Kooper, Bob Dylan's organist on Highway 61 Revisited and Blonde on Blonde (think "Like A Rolling Stone"). Guitarist, Steve Katz, had been in the Blues Project with Al Kooper. They decided they wanted to start a band with a horn-section. They got drummer Bobby Colomby involved, who was a jazz drummer (in fact, Buddy Rich's favorite drummer) whose brother managed Thelonius Monk. Then joined (world's-greatest) bassist Jim Fielder, who had previously played with Frank Zappa and Buffalo Springfield (Stephen Stills' band, of CSN&Y). They pulled in saxophonist Fred Lipsius, who brought in the jazz cats to flesh out the horn section, which included Randy Brecker on trumpet (of Brecker Brothers fame).

They started in New York City. During their practices people used to crowd in the streets outside to listen. They recorded their debut at the end of '67 with some originals and some covers.

This song is "My Days Are Numbered". It showcases Jim Fielder's remarkable bass playing. It includes a reverse guitar solo, which was rather trendy at the time. Blood, Sweat and Tears, at the beginning, was a good blend of folk, jazz, blues, bossa nova, and psychedelic rock. Their album had a horn section and a full string section.

Check out these songs:
"I Can't Quit Her"
"I Love You More Than You'll Ever Know"
"The Modern Adventures of Plato, Diogenes and Freud"

Also, download the live version of "My Days Are Numbered" from Al Kooper's "Soul of a Man" record. There's an extended trumpet duet between Randy Brecker and Lew Soloff worth the price of the whole album.

Song of the Week: "Mercy"

Alriught. After three weeks of not having any particular song stand out as special, or at least get stuck in my head, Song of the Week is back.

"Mercy" by Duffy.

I pretty much want this record. I think she's amazing.

Google Wave

One day we'll look back and marvel at Google - the company that became a country.

Plastic

Let's cut back.

Song of the Week

no song of the week this week.

nothing stands out.

So little time

It's so difficult to get to a town, have a few hours, and see everyone you want to see and get the rest you need, and do the work you must. I can think of nine people here in Portland I REALLY want to see. I only have a few more hours here, and I have work to do. blah. It just doesn't work. We play another concert tonight and head out tomorrow to Ashland. California by Saturday night.

Song of the Week: "People Gotta Be Free"

The Rascals are an amazing blue-eyed soul band from the 60s. Big into harmonies. Two lead singers taking turns, organ, guitar, drums. no bass. I used to only like 2 songs of theirs, and disliked everything else. Evenso, I remember watching a video of "Good Lovin'" live on Ed Sullivan and being impressed with their passion and Felix Cavaliere's organ work.

This song is a song I've always liked of theirs. Oh, it's worth mentioning that I'm loving just about everything of theirs right now. A large variety of styles. Real good music.

This song is excellent. Plus, in this performance, they mix in "Oh Happy Day". The drumming and organ work is excellent.

Words and melody are great, too. Especially when he gets to:

"A whole different feeling's just come over me
Enough to move a mountain, make a blind man see"

Ben, don't watch this. This is on your soul cd.

Song of the Week: "Ribcage"

By Elbow... all these body parts.



This song is great. close your eyes and listen.

Song of the Week: "Rhapsody in Blue"

Song of the Week: "The Crane Wife, Pt 1"

You really should cue up your playlist to hear The Crane Wife Pt 1, Pt 2, and then Pt 3.

This song is based on a Japanese folktale.

There is a Higher Justice

From our friends at democracynow.org:

"An explosive congressional report has revealed new details about the Bush administration’s torture program on foreign prisoners. According to the Senate Intelligence Committee, military and intelligence officials began developing the torture program in December 2001, well before any high-level al-Qaeda suspects had been caught. Bush administration officials have long maintained the so-called “enhanced interrogation techniques” were authorized only after standard questioning failed to yield intelligence. The report also shows the torture program was developed well before it received legal approval in the 2002 Justice Department memos declassified last week. The report singles out top Bush administration officials for the torture of US prisoners, saying they “solicited information on how to use aggressive techniques” and “redefined the law to create the appearance of their legality.”

"The report also documents the role of the military psychologists James Mitchell and Bruce Jessen in developing the torture program. A memo written by Jessen in 2002 proposes creating what he calls an “exploitation facility” where prisoners would be subjected to a number of prescribed abuses, including physical violence, sleep deprivation and waterboarding. Some of the techniques were based on torture used on American captives during the Korean War. Jessen proposed making the facility off-limits to outside observers, including the Red Cross. Soon after the memo, the suspected al-Qaeda operative Abu Zubaydah was sent to a CIA prison, where he was subjected to intense torture. Zubaydah’s attorneys have long contended the Justice Department memos were written in part to retroactively authorize the techniques used against him.

"Several Army officials raised objections as the torture techniques were developed and taught. And in a development that traces back to the White House’s drive for invading Iraq, one Army major complained the interrogations were being compromised by an insistence on establishing a “link between al-Qaeda and Iraq.”

"In a statement, Senate Intelligence Committee Chair Carl Levin said the new evidence provides a direct line from top Bush officials to abuses at prisons such as Abu Ghraib. Levin said, “Senior officials sought out information on, were aware of training in, and authorized the use of abusive interrogation techniques…[They] bear significant responsibility for creating the legal and operational framework for the abuses.” Levin went on to call on Attorney General Eric Holder to establish a high-level commission to investigate high-level Bush officials.

"The report’s release came hours after President Obama reversed course on ruling out the prosecution of Bush administration officials who wrote the legal memos authorizing torture. The White House had previously said it opposes any legal action against both the officials who provided legal cover for torture and the CIA interrogators who carried it out. But on Tuesday, Obama said now he won’t preclude legal action against the memos’ authors."

Well....

My biggest beef with the Bush administration is that they held people in prison for years without a proper trial "for our safety", and tortured some.

Justice will come. If not now, later.

Song of the Week: "Baby, It's You"

Maybe you've heard this song. Maybe you've heard the Shirelles sing it, or perhaps the Beatles. But Burt Bacharach's classic "Baby, It's You" was only an idea of something amazing, until Smith took it and gave it soul. The dynamic shifts between the steady groove and the soul explosion, the organ swells, and Gayle McCormick's belting voice make this song one of the best pieces of music you may have yet to hear. So sit back and enjoy a lip-sync'ing performance of a song that sold a million singles in three months.

[ben blood, don't watch this. you'll ruin your ultimate soul dinner i'm cooking up]

Save a Couple Lives - Right Now

Some people will be dying soon. They're going to be dying because they believe that their country should have independence from the country that overrules them. They protested peacefully, and now they have the death sentence.

Do your part. Visit this link, and petition for their lives:

http://org2.democracyinaction.org/o/5380/t/5114/p/dia/action/public/?action_KEY=598

Even if you are opposed to Tibetan independence, petition for their lives. Do it right now.

Someday Never Comes

"Well, I'm here to tell you now, each and every mother's son, you better learn it fast, you better learn it young, cuz someday never comes." - Creedence Clearwater Revival

Another Birthday. I feel like I've been 22 for 3 years. Finally, I'm 23.

I listened to this Creedence song tonight. It's good to be reminded that I can't just wait for epiphanies, but that I need to seek and find out; It's good to be reminded that I can't wait for my life to begin, but that I need to make that happen.

Certainly, there are growing periods that we wait through, but that's not what I mean. I can't just wait for "someday".

Anyhow, have nothing much to say on the turn of my year. Perhaps there'll be more tomorrow.

Song of the Week: "Music, Music, Music"

I know, it's just a photo with a song, but the song is worth it. Going old school with Teresa Brewer. Love this one.

Sorrow and Love Flow Mingled Down

"The Breath of Adonai YHWH is upon Me
Because YHWH has anointed Me
To bring good news to the afflicted;
He has sent Me to bind up the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to captives
And freedom to prisoners;
To proclaim the jubilee of YHWH
And the day of vengeance of our Elohim;
To comfort all who mourn,
To grant those who mourn in Zion
Giving them a garland instead of ashes,
The oil of gladness instead of mourning,
The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting.
So they will be called oaks of righteousness,
The planting of YHWH, that He may be glorified."

It's the words Jesus quoted right before He started healing people and preaching.

It's from Isaiah 61. I changed the "lord"s and "god"s to the actual names that were used. And I changed "Spirit" to "Breath", because it's the same Hebrew word, and it makes it ring a little different.

When they translated the Bible to English they changed all of the YHWH's, El Shaddai's, Elohim's, and Adonai's to "God" and "Lord". David wrote in his psalms about "calling on the Name of YHWH" and what we get in our Bibles is "calling on the Name of the Lord", which doesn't do it justice. They changed this out of reverence to His name. Surely we should revere it, but we shouldn't ignore and forget it.

"God" comes from a German word sounding something like "goth", from what I can tell, meaning "to invoke". I don't really like it.

"Lord" has it's place if you've decided to be submissive to Him.

"Adonai" means "Lord", but it's normally used with "YHWH" close by.

"Elohim" is the plural form of "God", alluding to the Trinity, I believe.

"El Shaddai" means "God Almighty". But it's better than that. "Shaddai" has "Shad" in the root word, which means "Breast". So the name doesn't just capture His Power, but His motherly, tender, nurturing care.

"YHWH" is the holiest name, and was seldom spoken by the ancient Hebrews. It's the most personal one. In the creation account of the world Moses used "Elohim", but when He gets in the dirt and makes man and woman Moses uses "YHWH". It's the "I AM that I AM".

I'm not too into Easter - from the German fertility goddess Eostre (fertility? think rabbits and eggs) - but I am into Passover and the Passion. I suppose it doesn't matter too much what we call it. But it is nice to clarify.

Happy Easter. Do take time to think what it's about, whether you follow Jesus or not. It'll be worth your while, I promise.

Run, God, Run

I've heard that the word "run" has more definitions than any other English word. Perhaps second on the list is "god". "God" can be a person, a force, a pretty poetic concept, me, you, us when we're together, an orgasm, ultimate reality, illusion, everything, nothing. The definitions get wacky and they tend to contradict each other. But we continue to use the word as though we all mean the same thing.

I dislike using the word. What if I called you "Person"? "Hey, Person! How ya been?"

The Bible presents an alternative. The god of the Bible has names - Elohim, Yahweh, El Shaddai, Adonai, Jehovah-Jirah, Emmanuel, Jesus Christ, Shiloh, Rose of Sharon, Bright and Morning Star, Ancient of Days. The god of the Bible has role-filling names - Saviour, Deliverer, Healer, Redeemer, Judge, Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace, Everlasting Father, Creator.

And here we are, calling Him "god", ignoring His beauty, forgetting who He is.

Chimes and Sunshine

I'm down in Arizona. I arrived last night after a drive from Spokane to Seattle and a 3 hour flight. The sun is shining and it's warm. I'm glad for this, because I'm sick and I want to eat some ice cream. The warm weather should speed up my recovery.

I'm heading to the Chihuly Garden here in Phoenix area. A week ago I was at the Glass Museum in Tacoma, so it's only fitting.

This morning I've been reading a book on writing while listening to Tchaikovsky and Wilco. I'm glad to be down here.

Now I'm off to shower and tame my crazy hair.

Song of the Week: "Children"

I was quite happy to find this live performance. I love this song. Definitely song of the week. Ye Olde Delta Spirit:

Song of the Week: "God Bless The Child"

Blood, Sweat & Tears' remake of Billie Holiday's classic, "God Bless the Child".

This is my favorite band, in what I'd call their 3rd main line up. This is about 1972/73 over in Scandinavia, I believe, or maybe Germany.

This line up has my favorite bassist, Jim Fielder, and my favorite trumpet player, Lew Soloff - along with some other very fine musicians. So watch, enjoy, tell me what you think.

Song of the Week: "Ran For Miles"

by Gemma Hayes.

She needs to come to america.

Life and Love and Why

switchfoot song title. i like the flow of those words. anyhow.

nearing the end of the tour. tomorrow is our fourth and final day off amidst the tours, and it's our first day off that hasn't been spent driving a long distance. thursday is the final show. i'm swamped with work to do for the band. all the while, i need my rest time, need to work in a flight to arizona to visit my dear friend sandy, trying to mend another friendship, and desiring greatly to write something. anything. still healing from other hurts, growing, trying to figure things out.

music things to be excited about:

Decemberists release The Hazards of Love next week.
Wilco releases Ashes of American Flags in April.
Jack White has a third band.
Radiohead is working on new material.
Yann Tiersen is coming to Seattle next month.
Wilco releases a new record in June.
Sondre Lerche's working on his new record.
Elton John is playing the key arena... in november.

books i'm reading:
of mice and men - steinbeck
history of the ancient world - bauer
lord of the flies - golding

books i'll start reading soon:
extremely loud and incredibly close - foer

this is rather new territory, this fiction stuff. of course, i paid my dues in high school with harper lee, charles dickens, e b white, shakespeare, chaim potok, et al. but other than the necessitated adolescent foray, i've shied away from fiction.

still have susan wise bauer to balance me out.

anyhow. was hoping to say something interesting. i guess what i'm getting at is that it's been nearly impossible for me to have my own life on this tour, and now that it's ending, i'm gonna start to dabble in the precious, small things that are not work related, a bit.

but i'm still bootstrappin. :D

Song of the Week: "In Held ('twas) In I: In the Autumn of My Madness"

Skip to the six minute mark and let it play for a couple minutes. This snippet of this 17 minute long song, I have really been enjoying lately.



Here are the words:

"In the autumn of my madness when my hair is turning grey
for the milk has finally curdled and I've nothing left to say
When all my thoughts are spoken (save my last departing birds)
bring all my friends unto me and I'll strangle them with words

In the autumn of my madness which in coming won't be long
for the nights are now much darker and the daylight's not so strong
and the things which I believed in are no longer quite enough
for the knowing is much harder and the going's getting rough"

Song of the Week: "My Father's Gun"

Two Elton John songs in a row. But we've been listening to Tumbleweed Connection a ton, and this song never gets old. Do listen. If you haven't heard it, you're missing out.

Song of the Week: "Tiny Dancer"

This song has popped it's head up a few times on tour. It's only fitting to play this film version of it.

Song of the Week: "Try a Little Tenderness"

SOOOOOUUUUL music.

Otis Redding backed up by Booker T and the MGs, and the Mar Keys. mm mm.

Song of the Week: "Mellow Yellow"

By Donovan.

Paul McCartney on back-up vocals.

Arranged by John Paul Jones (Led Zeppelin).

Too cool for school, and he knows it.

The horn part is sublime.

Funny

Song of the Week: "Take 15"

In homage to Radiohead for their brilliant Grammy performance, and for winning the Best Alternative Music Album Award, here's a mashup of "15 Step" and Dave Brubeck Quartet's "Take Five".

This is phenomenal. Watch it!

Delta Spirit

just saw them again.
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speechless.

Grab Another Cold One

I'm sitting in the Ferguson's living room, sipping Henry Weinhard's Root Beer, snacking on Kettle Chips and listening to Icky Thump. I'm attempting to manufacture luxury, when really, I'm pressed for time and have a lot of work to do today.

I just need a break. This past month has been one of the busiest of my life - especially the past two weeks. Been working on a website, booking a tour, mixing an album, and so much more than that. And today I have to do taxes.



All I want to do is listen to music, sip my root beer, and read "Proust was a Neuroscientist". And then perhaps use the Barnes and Noble gift card that I won. Reading is a huge part of my life, yet in the past two weeks I've read under two pages, aside from the Bible. So, today I'm going to read... when I'm done with taxes. And I'm gonna do taxes when I'm done relaxing.

Song of the Week: "Dreams to Dream"

I'm sure you've seen Fievel Goes West.

I think it's funny I'm choosing this song, but it really is incredible. Patrick and I love it. We've been singing it for the past couple weeks. It's enrapturing. Watch it twice.



The lyrics are cheesy.

still, you have to admit. This song may be one of the best cartoon songs ever.

Song of the Week: "I Can't Keep From Crying, Sometimes"

by the Blues Project. Saw Al Kooper perform this solo last week. I was impressed with his chops on guitar for the 65 yr old that he is.

But here he is on organ, singing, back in the day. Some classic 60s blues revival.

This is Amazing

Song of the Week: "Grazing in the Grass"

The Friends of Distinction put this song out in 1969. It was originally done by the South African trumpeter Hugh Masaleka in 1968. They took the melody and wrote words to it, and released it the next year.

The song is kinda funny. But there's some cool vocal parts. Check it out:



How'd you like that dancing?

Ad-Tastic!

This is actually an add.... It looks like a video someone would make to make fun of the product. But it's actually serious.

And long.

And seriously long.

Important Song of the Week: Many Shades of Black

My friend Rachel is doing Song of the Week entries this year. I think I'll do the same. Sometimes a song comes along and you listen to it a ton in a short period, and then you move on. It may not be a lasting favorite, but it should still get some recognition for becoming a temporary part of our lives.

Well, here's my song choice for the week: Many Shades of Black by The Raconteurs.



I don't quite know the specifics in the song, but, to me, it captures that feeling of redemption that comes with realizing you're in a screwed up situation, and it's actually a GREAT thing to move along. The chorus is all up in that McCartney goodness. It feels great to sing along.

ugh

Have you noticed that there are plenty movies that mix sexuality and violence? Look at The Unborn. I don't know much about it - and I don't really want to - but it seems like one of those pretty-girl-in-underwear-gets-slaughtered movies... um? There's something really vile, wicked, degenerate when you mix sexuality and violence, but it's like there's a whole sub-genre of movies like this. What terrible things happen to our brains when we watch stuff like that? It's like those directors are breeding Jack the Rippers. And sexuality aside, gore in general has just gone too far. Look at the Saw film industry. I mean, it's gotta be worse than the Colosseum, right?

How atrocious.

At Arms, not At Ease

Frankly, I'm feeling awful right now. So I'm going to combat that with good ol' fashion optimism... and for some reason I'm doing it publicly on my blog.

Last night I watched Good Will Hunting for the first time in a few years. I happen to live in a world with highly skilled story tellers. A world filled with people who have felt joy and pain; who have profound thoughts or experiences that they share through the arts with me - even though they don't know me.

I play music with two dear friends. We can make up something new on the spot, and can play 20, even 30, minutes of continuous music that magically changes genres, dynamics, time signatures, keys without saying a word to each other. We often don't even need to look at each other. And sometimes the music becomes a paradise while we're in it.

I have good friends. I can call people at three in the morning just to talk about my problems, or chat with them forever online. I've lived with friends for nearly two years now, without paying rent. Even though my life is crazy, and I travel a lot, I have friends who are musicians who are living the same lifestyle - and we have a camaraderie that others wouldn't understand.

I can walk into a bookstore or library and have thousands of books at my fingertips. I can read something written by Julius Caesar, Herodotus, King David, even Hitler.

I could work, save money, and go to almost any country in the world and get there within a day's travel.

After millennia of mankind dreaming of flight, I get to see the clouds from above and not just below. I can even jump out of a plane and fall from heights unimaginable a mere 100 years ago.

I have a really nice electric bass, and I've learned how to pour my heart into it.

There is always an emergency room within an hour of wherever I am.

I can fill my fridge with bottles of 100% fruit juice.

I babysit two of the most precious children in the world.

My family loves me.

I have peace and comfort in a friend whom I've never held, a friend who holds me all the time; who keeps me when others have rejected me.