At Arms, not At Ease

Frankly, I'm feeling awful right now. So I'm going to combat that with good ol' fashion optimism... and for some reason I'm doing it publicly on my blog.

Last night I watched Good Will Hunting for the first time in a few years. I happen to live in a world with highly skilled story tellers. A world filled with people who have felt joy and pain; who have profound thoughts or experiences that they share through the arts with me - even though they don't know me.

I play music with two dear friends. We can make up something new on the spot, and can play 20, even 30, minutes of continuous music that magically changes genres, dynamics, time signatures, keys without saying a word to each other. We often don't even need to look at each other. And sometimes the music becomes a paradise while we're in it.

I have good friends. I can call people at three in the morning just to talk about my problems, or chat with them forever online. I've lived with friends for nearly two years now, without paying rent. Even though my life is crazy, and I travel a lot, I have friends who are musicians who are living the same lifestyle - and we have a camaraderie that others wouldn't understand.

I can walk into a bookstore or library and have thousands of books at my fingertips. I can read something written by Julius Caesar, Herodotus, King David, even Hitler.

I could work, save money, and go to almost any country in the world and get there within a day's travel.

After millennia of mankind dreaming of flight, I get to see the clouds from above and not just below. I can even jump out of a plane and fall from heights unimaginable a mere 100 years ago.

I have a really nice electric bass, and I've learned how to pour my heart into it.

There is always an emergency room within an hour of wherever I am.

I can fill my fridge with bottles of 100% fruit juice.

I babysit two of the most precious children in the world.

My family loves me.

I have peace and comfort in a friend whom I've never held, a friend who holds me all the time; who keeps me when others have rejected me.